|
|
 |
A Gift of Love
Editor’s Note: In 2004, a family in California lost a brother to a massive stroke. Even though he lay brain dead, they wanted to help him make the ultimate gift of life to others. They helped arrange the donation of all his organs, designating one of his kidneys for someone with VHL. We polled our membership through the online distribution lists, and within hours we had four candidates. Through the Designated Donor program of the United Network for Organ Sharing (UNOS), the kidney was sent to New York state, and was successfully transplanted into a gentleman with VHL who had spent five years on dialysis.
Living donors give the best chance for someone who needs a kidney, serving the recipient as much as 30 years. The following story tells of one woman’s decision to be a living kidney donor for someone she had never met.
No Greater Love
Two women lay waiting in adjacent operating rooms in St. John Hospital in Detroit on Dec. 4, 2002. Neither knew the other. They had nothing in common. One was 55 years old, the other 43. One is white and lives in Howell, Michigan, the other African-American and lives in Southfield. One is Roman Catholic, the other Pentecostal.
For two years, the first woman – Suzanne Fales, a parishioner at St. Augustine in Deerfield Township – had been thinking, praying, preparing for the moment she would donate a kidney to someone who needed one. It felt good and right to her, and was something she wanted to do.
The second woman, Grace Drake, had had eight rough years prior to the surgery. “My daily life was subdued,” she said. “I had lupus and hypertension; then my kidneys started failing. I had a decreased appetite; my diet and fluid intake were restricted because my kidneys couldn’t filter correctly; I couldn’t work because I was so drained from having dialysis treatments three times a week.”
Chris, her husband, was struggling, too. Concern for Grace’s health was taking its toll. He was constantly wondering if someone who was the right match would be willing to donate. He and Grace’s brother had been tested but were not compatible donors. “It was trying my faith,” he says. “I needed to learn to be a supporter, an encourager, a motivator.”
Grace quoted Romans 8:28 to herself often: “For all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purposes.” Three weeks before Christmas 2002, that verse was fulfilled for Grace. In Howell, Suzanne was eager to go ahead, but wanted the go-ahead from her family. Looking back, Suzanne’s husband, Tom, says the whole thing “hit me by surprise. I didn’t even want to talk about it.” However, Suzanne’s unwavering attitude and a lot of reading about the transplant process broke down his reserve and, after a year, he became a supporter.
With Suzanne’s mother, it just took some salesmanship to overcome
her immediate “No.”
Suzanne’s daughter, Michelle, responded immediately, “Go for it.”
That left Catelyn, Suzanne’s granddaughter, who was 8 at the time. For Tom and Suzanne, she had to give the final OK. After the situation was explained to Catelyn, she agreed. “And if my brother or mother need a kidney some day, I will give them one of mine,” she added.
“We received her response like a message from God sent through an angel, a selfless angel,” Suzanne said.
Throughout the preparation time, Suzanne said fear and emotion were not the most difficult things to cope with. “It was all the tests – the EKGs, blood tests, psychiatric work-up. And along the way, the medical people kept giving me every opportunity to back out, like I didn’t know what I was doing. I guess they wanted to be certain that I was serious.”
During a three-hour laparoscopic surgery by Dr. Abdelkader Hawasli, Suzanne’s kidney was removed. It was then placed into Grace by Dr. Henry Oh, chief transplant surgeon at St. John’s, during a slightly longer surgery. Dr. Oh said it was major, but not dangerous. “Anyone can undergo it with minimal discomfort,” he said.
He noted later that, “We had screened two dozen potential donors who had the right physical match, but Suzanne seemed the best as far as overall willingness and psychological makeup.” He pointed out that the rigid screening and testing beforehand is essential because there are some people who donate organs for ulterior motives – like a lonely person looking for attention, or someone who might do it in order to get money from the recipient afterward. “Suzanne deserves applause for what she did – giving the ultimate gift of life, part of her body to someone else,” Dr. Oh said. “She carried out what the Bible teaches.”
As a result, Grace not only had a new kidney, but she and her family
would soon have a new life.
Suzanne worked for Gift of Life as a coordination specialist until recently, and still speaks for them at some functions. Within a week of the operation, Suzanne was driving a car. She was back to work in four weeks. “God has given me incredible health all of my life,” she said, “and within six weeks I was feeling as good as ever. When I look at all that Grace had gone through compared to me, I consider her a hero. I am grateful that God showed me one of the major purposes of my life – why I am here – to donate a kidney.”
The second woman? Her life was totally transformed. Today, Grace states that she is 100 percent better. “I have much more energy, eat whatever I want, the hypertension is gone, the lupus in remission. I am grateful to God, and have an increased faith in him.” Her career, not surprisingly, is taking a new path. A registered nurse, she now intends to focus on working with kidney patients. “My heart bleeds for them,” she says. “Though I’m not sure exactly what yet, there is a work for me to do.” Even her attitude has changed. “I see how precious life is, and I have more compassion and tolerance for others.”
Fifteen days after the transplant, at Grace’s request, she was able to meet Suzanne. Suzanne had never intended to learn who the recipient was because it was “a personal, private thing for me.” But her husband and others convinced her that meeting Grace could lead to some positive publicity for organ transplants, and be an opportunity to educate the public and reduce fears about the procedure. This was especially true since Grace’s transplant was the first one in Michigan by a live donor to someone who was not a friend or relative.
The two of them hit it off immediately. Grace calls Suzanne her angelic hero. “I love her. Her priceless, selfless act of mercy gave me a second chance at life,” she says.
Tom Fales, who has been married to Suzanne for 25 years, says, “She is a saint in my mind. She answered the age-old question of why God gave us two kidneys. She is the most selfless person I have ever met. I admire and respect her for what she did. I wish I could be more like her.”
Note 1: Adapted from FaithMag.com, the magazine of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing, Michigan, 24 October 2005. Reprinted with permission.
As printed in the VHL Family Forum 13:4, December 2005. For permission to reprint, please contact VHL Family Alliance, editor@vhl.org. Further information is available from the VHL Family Alliance, info@vhl.org. |
| Contact Us | Copyright 1993-2008 |